KATIE DERHAM, 40, freelance broadcaster and writer, mother to Natasha, 10 and Eleanor, 5

I’m one of four kids in a very close family so it never occurred to me that we wouldn’t have children at some point. I didn’t have a strategy for getting pregnant, the very thought! I’d recently joined ITV News, I had just been made a newscaster as well as a correspondent, and I’m pretty sure that the last thing my boss and colleagues expected was for me to start a family so quickly after John and I got married. Of course I worried whether or not it would impact on my career; I was 29 and had just started the job. But first and foremost, we were delighted that we were expecting a baby, and as it turned out the timing wasn’t bad, as the life of a newscaster is somewhat more predictable and childcare friendly than that of a correspondent.

I took less time off then than perhaps I could have done because I was keen to get back to work. I was off for three months and then went back one day a week to be the Saturday newsreader for two months, before going back to work full time. On reflection, I’m sure I could have taken longer – I’m not sure anyone was counting as closely as I was. I’d had visions of maternity leave as an extended holiday with a lovely baby in a papoose, swanning around galleries and museums. It wasn’t quite like that  – lovely though, in a chaotic, hormonal way.

I’m now freelance, working mostly for the BBC, for Radio 3 and Radio 4, and BBC Classical Music TV  – the highlight of which is presenting the Proms for BBC2. I love it. Since becoming freelance, it is naturally varied from week to week. Some weeks I’m in the studio five or six days, others I’m at home writing when I’m not doing the school run. My work at ITV News was very structured. I was in the studio four days a week, every week. This way I have more flexibility.

I’d describe my typical day as organised chaos, occasionally resembling military rigour, in order to get everyone to school with the requisite hairclips/music/kit/homework. Home by 8.45, strong tea, much toast. Then it’s general life stuff; admin, feed chickens, walk dog, cook supper if I’m going to be out.

If I’m presenting Afternoon on [Radio] 3 I head to the BBC. My shift starts at 12 and we live in Sussex, so I need to leave around 10.30 and will get home about 7.30. Or it could be a day of meetings in town, or I could have scripts or articles to write at home, in which case all hope of concentration ends at 3pm when my five-year-old needs picking up. From then until their bedtime it’s mum stuff  – mucking around, homework, music practice, maybe a playdate, supper, the usual wrangles over how much TV they’re allowed to watch. Then at 9 o’clock or so I’ll get a chance to hang out with John and, most likely, watch Glee or old seasons of the West Wing.

I took longer maternity leave with my little one – though only 6 months, which isn’t that long, really. There was a five year gap, so Natasha was at school already, which made life much more manageable at home with Eleanor. The capacity to cope with double the kid admin expands with your capacity to love another child. You don’t think it’s possible but it just happens.

I was reassured by a good friend and counsellor that children always used to be raised by “the village” or “the tribe”, that for them to have a variety of loving adult carers isn’t just ok, it’s really good for them. Our girls have thrived with two very different, equally good nannies, and the constant presence of my husband’s parents. His mother has been a huge help and support to me, and I know how enriched the girls’ lives have been by her, as well as having parents who even if they’re not always there, are very involved when they are.

What’s the most valuable piece of advice you’ve ever been given about how to balance a career and motherhood?

There’s no right or wrong way. Personally I am completely happy to be a working mum. I want my girls to have a happy working role model. I know there are days when they’d rather I stayed at home but I don’t think they benefit if I apologise for having a job I love. They need to know that better to have a happy (if occasionally exhausted and disorganised) mum than a cross, frustrated or resentful one.

What would you say to people who say it is impossible to balance a successful career with giving children the time and attention they need?

I say relax. Stop worrying. I can’t tell you how many hours me and my friends spend dissecting our lives and weighing up the benefits of a three-day versus a four-day week, or if a home office ever really works. But you know what, we all love our kids and they seem to love us back – so far! We must be doing okay. Maybe one thing I try to do is concentrate on “keeping the main thing the main thing”, as my husband always says. It’s sometimes tricky to achieve but better you concentrate on work when you’re there, and the kids when you’re home. It’s a cliché, but there’s a reason it’s called quality time.

I’d say it’s amazing how much you can fit into your day when you’ve got a baby. I had no idea of my capacity to organise and think ahead before I became a mother. And frankly – again – relax. You’ll work it out. If you want a baby, you’ll work it out.